Striving Towards Excellence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

If my thinking determines how I’m going to feel, then it’s very important to understand exactly what happens when I focus my attention on negative thinking. Using my own common sense, I need to answer this question: If negative feelings are caused by negative thinking, then what possible good can it do to overanalyze the negative parts of my life?

I’ve discovered a fundamental law at work here: thoughts grow with attention! The more attention I give to what I’m thinking, the bigger that thought becomes in my mind and the more important it will seem. When I spend a great deal of time rehearsing potential problems, dwelling on what’s wrong, and thinking and talking about problems, only two things are certain to happen: First, I will become an expert in my problems – not an expert at solving them, but an expert in describing them. Second, I will be depressed, or at least my spirits will be low.

Here’s what I’ve observed: if I spend time exploring and describing my problems in detail, I draw myself deeper into pain. The more specific and detailed I get, the bigger the problem becomes. A few seconds ago I might have been fine and not even thinking about the problem. But now I’m describing a painful event as if it were really happening – except it’s not happening, except in my mind.

I’ve realized that the way I feel is determined by my thoughts. The more attention I put on anything negative, the worse I will feel. If I believe my thoughts are real and I’m encouraged to work through the worst of them, I end up with even more to contend with. The more I think, the bigger and more important the thoughts seem, and the more there will be to deal with.

Because my feelings are determined by what I think, I will, by necessity, sink even lower. Unfortunately, because I’m lower, I will think even worse thoughts that I now have to “work through.” This endless negative spiral never takes me upward toward where I want to be emotionally.

The spiral will end when I decide that “enough is enough,” when I “start over” with a clean slate and a clear mind, and when I realize that the only thing holding my depression in place is my own thinking. I must stop focusing on my depression.

The key insight I’ve gained is this: rather than analyzing my problems endlessly, I need to withdraw my attention from negative thoughts and redirect it toward what serves my well-being.