Striving Towards Excellence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Sometimes the smartest thing you can say is nothing at all.

We live in a world that celebrates quick responses, clever comebacks, and always having something to say. But there are moments when silence isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

Saying the wrong thing can damage relationships, escalate conflicts, and create problems that never existed. And once words leave your mouth, you can’t take them back.

When silence is the better choice:

1. When you’re angry

Your coworker just took credit for your idea in a meeting. Every fiber of your being wants to call them out right there.

Don’t.

In that moment, anything you say will come from emotion, not clarity. You’ll likely say something you’ll regret—maybe something harsh, maybe something that makes you look petty.

Better move: Take a breath. Walk away. Address it later when you can speak calmly and strategically.

2. When you don’t have all the facts

You overhear that your friend didn’t invite you to their party. Your first instinct is to confront them: “Why wasn’t I invited?”

But what if there’s context you’re missing? Maybe it was a small family thing. Maybe invitations got lost. Maybe they assumed you were out of town.

Jumping in without understanding creates unnecessary drama. Sometimes waiting and observing gives you the full picture.

3. When someone is grieving

A colleague just lost a parent. You want to help, so you say: “At least they lived a long life” or “Everything happens for a reason.”

These phrases, while well-intentioned, often hurt more than help. They minimize pain and can sound dismissive.

Better approach: “I’m so sorry. I’m here if you need anything.” Sometimes just sitting with someone in silence is more comforting than any words.

4. When you’re about to give unsolicited advice

Your sister is venting about her relationship struggles. You immediately jump in: “You should just break up with him. He’s clearly not good for you.”

She didn’t ask for advice. She asked to be heard.

Unsolicited advice, even when accurate, often pushes people away. They feel judged instead of supported.

Better response: Listen. Ask, “What do you think you want to do?” Only offer advice if they specifically ask for it.

5. In a heated argument

You’re fighting with your partner. They say something that stings. You have the perfect cutting comeback ready.

Stop.

In that moment, your goal isn’t to win—it’s to wound. And that comeback might win the argument but damage the relationship.

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is pause, even walk away temporarily, rather than say something designed to hurt.

6. When you’re exhausted

It’s late. You’ve had a long day. Someone asks you a complex question or brings up a sensitive topic.

You’re not in a state to think clearly. Fatigue makes you impulsive, reactive, and less thoughtful.

Better choice: “Can we talk about this tomorrow when I’m fresh? I want to give this the attention it deserves.”

7. When someone just needs to vent

Your friend is complaining about their boss for the third time this week. You’re tempted to say, “If you hate it so much, just quit already!”

But they’re not looking for solutions. They’re releasing pressure.

Sometimes people don’t need your wisdom—they need your presence.

The takeaway:

Silence isn’t always agreement. It’s not always avoidance. Sometimes it’s:

• Self-control
• Respect
• Strategic thinking
• Compassion
• Wisdom

Before you speak, ask yourself:

• Is this true?
• Is this kind?
• Is this necessary?
• Is this the right time?

If the answer to any of these is “no,” consider staying quiet.

Your words have power. Use them wisely—and sometimes, that means not using them at all.