Striving Towards Excellence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

You can absolutely be a good person while also:

• Saying no when something doesn’t work for you Example: A friend asks you to help them move on the same day you’ve blocked off for rest after a stressful week. You can say, “I’d love to help, but I really need this weekend to recharge. Can I treat you to pizza once you’re settled in instead?”
• Putting your own needs first sometimes Example: Your family expects you at every Sunday dinner, but you’re feeling burnt out. It’s okay to say, “I’m going to skip this week to catch up on some things I need to do for myself.”
• Drawing clear lines about what you will and won’t accept Example: A coworker keeps making jokes at your expense. You can kindly but firmly say, “Hey, I know you’re joking, but comments like that actually bother me. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop.”
• Respectfully disagreeing when you see things differently Example: In a meeting, everyone’s nodding along to a plan you think has flaws. You can speak up: “I see where you’re coming from, but I’m concerned about X. Have we considered Y approach instead?”
• Speaking your truth, even when it’s uncomfortable Example: A friend constantly vents to you but never asks how you’re doing. You might say, “I care about what you’re going through, but I’ve been struggling too and could use some support. Can we make this more of a two-way street?”
• Calling out behavior that crosses the line Example: Someone makes a discriminatory comment in your presence. You can respond with, “That’s not okay. Comments like that are hurtful and I’m not comfortable with that kind of talk.”
• Leaving situations or relationships that drain you Example: You realize a friendship has become one-sided and toxic. It’s okay to gradually step back or have an honest conversation: “I don’t think this friendship is healthy for either of us anymore.”
• Messing up and learning as you go Example: You snap at someone because you’re stressed, then realize you overreacted. You can apologize genuinely: “I’m sorry I took my frustration out on you. That wasn’t fair. I’m working on managing my stress better.”
• Advocating for yourself without apology Example: You’re consistently passed over for projects you’re qualified for. You can approach your manager: “I’d like to discuss my career growth. I’m interested in taking on projects like X, and I’d appreciate being considered for those opportunities.”
• Guarding your energy and personal time Example: You’re invited to a party but you’re exhausted and would rather stay home. Simply say, “Thanks for the invite! I’m going to sit this one out, but hope you all have a great time.”

Real kindness includes being kind to yourself, too. Setting boundaries and taking care of your needs doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you sustainable. You can’t pour from an empty cup.