Striving Towards Excellence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Marcus Aurelius once pointed out something pretty wild: you don’t actually have to have an opinion about everything. I know, right? In a world where everyone’s constantly asking “what do you think about this?” that feels almost revolutionary.

Think about how much brain space we waste on judgments that literally don’t matter:

• Some student named Aditya at the University of Colorado microwaves Palak Paneer. Again. You could spend your whole afternoon mad about it, complaining to everyone, mentally rehearsing what you’d say to the person—or you could just… not. It has strong smell for five minutes, then it’s over.
• Your friend posts something on Facebook that makes you want to scream. But does he need your take? Will your comment change his mind? Or are you just feeding that little voice that needs to be right all the time?
• Your nephew wants to dye his hair blue. Your neighbor’s lawn looks like a jungle. Your friend has started new diet now and won’t shut up about it. Here’s the thing: none of this is actually asking for your input. As Marcus put it, “Leave them alone.”

Why Opinions Are Exhausting

This isn’t just about being nice—it’s about not making yourself miserable. Epictetus nailed it when he said, “It’s not things that upset us, it’s our opinions about things.”

Let me give you a real example. Someone cuts you off in traffic. The actual event? Three seconds of your life. But your opinion about it—what a jerk, people are so selfish these days, nobody knows how to drive anymore—that can wreck your whole morning. You’re still fuming when you get home, snapping at people who had nothing to do with it.

Or say your coworker gets promoted and you don’t. The facts are just facts. But your opinion—that it’s unfair, that your boss doesn’t appreciate you, that hard work doesn’t matter—that’s what keeps you up at night.

So What SHOULD You Care About?

Look, I’m not saying become some zen robot or a yogi who doesn’t care about anything. Save your energy for stuff that actually matters:

• Real problems: If you see someone getting harassed at work, or a friend in an abusive relationship, or actual injustice happening—yeah, have an opinion. Do something about it.
• Your own choices: How you treat people, whether you keep your word, if you’re living according to your values—definitely worth your time and judgment.
• Actual ethical dilemmas: Should you tell your friend her partner’s cheating? How do you balance taking care of your parents with raising your kids? These are real questions that deserve real thought.

How to Actually Do This

Next time you feel yourself gearing up to have an opinion, just ask yourself:

• “Did anyone actually ask me?” (Probably not)
• “Will my opinion change anything?” (Usually no)
• “Is this going to make me happier or just more annoyed?” (Be honest)
• “Is this about right and wrong, or just… different?” (Most things are just different)

Like, your brother-in-law is raising his kids totally differently than you’d do it. You could sit there silently judging every choice, feeling superior or worried or whatever. You could let it make family dinners weird. Or—and hear me out—you could just recognize that unless the kids are in actual danger, it’s none of your business. He didn’t ask for your parenting tips. Let it go.

The Weird Thing Is…

Here’s what’s funny: when you stop having opinions about everything, you don’t become some pushover with no backbone. You actually become MORE principled.

Think about it—when you spend all day having opinions about how people dress, what they eat, how they spend their money, who they’re dating, how they do their jobs… you’re exhausted. You’ve got nothing left for the stuff that actually matters.

But when you stop caring about all that noise? Suddenly you’ve got energy for the real stuff. And when you DO speak up, people actually listen, because you’re not the person who has something to say about everything.

Bottom Line

You know that feeling when you’re carrying too many grocery bags and you’re like, “why didn’t I just make two trips?” That’s what happens when you form opinions about every little thing. You’re exhausted, you’re dropping stuff, and you’re making it way harder than it needs to be.

So just… put some bags down. Let people live their lives. Save your judgment for things that actually involve right and wrong.

You’ll be amazed how much lighter you feel. And when something important actually comes up? You’ll have the energy to deal with it properly.