Striving Towards Excellence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Hearing that you’ve fallen short is uncomfortable for anyone. It’s natural to feel a sting. But what someone does next makes all the difference. People who grow treat feedback as useful information, something to work with, rather than an attack they need to defend themselves against.

Defensiveness keeps people stuck. When someone argues, explains away, or gets upset, the conversation becomes about protecting their image instead of solving the problem. But when someone takes feedback in and asks, “How can I do better?”, the focus shifts from the past to the future, from blame to progress.

What a growth-minded response looks like:

• They listen fully before responding, without interrupting.
• They thank the person for being honest, even if it was hard to hear.
• They ask questions to really understand the issue.
• They suggest a next step or ask for help finding one.
• They follow through and check back in later.

What defensiveness looks like:

• “That’s not true,” or “You’re overreacting.”
• Listing reasons why it wasn’t their fault.
• Pointing out the other person’s mistakes instead (“Well, you do it too”).
• Shutting down, going silent, or sulking.
• Agreeing on the surface but never actually changing anything.

For example, a manager tells an employee that their presentations tend to run too long and the team loses focus. The employee could easily get defensive: “There’s a lot of important information, I can’t just leave it out.” Instead, they pause and say, “Thanks for telling me. I hadn’t realized that. Could I run my next one by you beforehand so I can tighten it up? And do you have any tips on what to cut?”

Then, before the next meeting, they actually do it. They trim the slides, focus on the key points, and finish on time. Afterward, they even ask, “How did that one feel?”

Notice what happened: they stayed open, asked for help, took action, and checked their progress. A moment that could have caused tension turned into a chance to improve and build trust with their manager.
How someone responds to feedback tells you a lot about who they are. If they ask “How can I do better?” instead of arguing, they’re focused on the future, not on protecting their ego. These are the people who keep improving, because they see feedback as a gift rather than a threat. And when you’re on the receiving end of feedback yourself, it’s worth remembering: the faster you move from “I’m not wrong” to “What can I do about it?”, the faster you grow.