Striving Towards Excellence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

When someone commits to changing, it’s tempting to expect them to get it right immediately. But real change rarely happens overnight. Old habits are deeply worn in, and replacing them with new ones takes time, effort, and a lot of practice. Along the way, there will be slip-ups, and that’s a normal part of the process, not a sign of failure.

The key is knowing the difference between a slip and a pattern. A slip is an occasional stumble while someone is clearly working to improve. A pattern is when nothing changes at all. When you see real effort and steady progress, it’s worth giving people the patience and room they need to keep growing.

What genuine progress looks like:

• The problem happens less often over time.
• When it does happen, it’s less intense or shorter.
• They notice and correct themselves more quickly.
• They own their slips without excuses and get right back on track.
• You can see them actively trying, even when it’s hard.

What gets in the way of growth:

• Expecting perfection from day one and giving up after one mistake.
• Using slip-ups as proof that “people never change.”
• Constantly bringing up past mistakes instead of noticing improvements.
• Treating every stumble as if no progress has been made.
• On the other side, using “I’m still learning” as an excuse to stop trying.

For example, someone has a habit of raising their voice during arguments with their partner. After a heartfelt conversation, they decide to work on staying calm. At first it’s hard. In the heat of the moment, they still snap sometimes. But they start noticing the signs earlier, like their heart racing or their jaw tightening, and they learn to say, “I need a minute,” and step away to cool down.

In the first month, they still raised their voice several times. By the third month, it only happened once, and they stopped themselves mid-sentence and apologized right away. Six months later, their partner realizes their disagreements feel completely different: calmer, more respectful, and actually productive.

Notice what made the difference: it wasn’t perfection. It was steady effort, self-awareness, and a willingness to keep going even after slipping up.

The takeaway is, look for progress, not perfection. Just like surgeons practice before operating on real patients, people need time to build new skills and habits before they get them right. Growth happens step by step, and steady effort is what really counts. Being patient with someone who’s genuinely trying, including yourself, gives that growth the space it needs to last.